Jokes websitetrabajos

I have a SMS jokes portal. I need someone to manage and update its content and perform other administrative tasks on regular basis. This would be a part time job but have to be online multiple times during 24 hours. Please bid for a monthly pay along with you qualification and experience of managing such portals and websites. You job will include but the not limited to the following: 1. Collecting more jokes and stuff 2. Choosing quality content and putting it to the portal 3. Managing users and replying to their support emails 4. Managing banner ads 5. Moderate jokes and stuff posted by users A Pakistani or Indian would be suitable for this job as in the current portal version most of the jokes are in Urdu and Punjabi. ## Deliverables The portal manager shou...

...articles for books categories that are listed below. Please write an article for each category separately. The articles should explain the category briefly, and express the information such as what type of items (books) are included in particular category. Each article should also include some keywords that are listed below. If you require more information then please see the category menu on our website Categories: Antiquarian, Rare & Collectable (No Keywords) Art, Architecture & Photography Keywords: Design Studies; Encyclopaedias; Architecture; Fashion Design; Graphic Arts; Painting & Drawing; Photography; Print & Decorative Arts; Sculpture; History of Art & Architecture; Styles & Movements; Art Issues; Criticism & Theory; Museums...

Can you rise to the challenge and write 30 jokes for $30? I need 30 laughs for a speech I'm going to make in the near future and I need your help.

My site is and I have very little web coding experience. I have dreamweaver, but tutorials(the few I read) did not help. I am currently using a simple template I found on the web ...site I want to have. I want my site to be similiar to other video sites like , but its way beyond my realm of expertise on hwo to do this. If you can come up with a well designed site for my domain, I would greatly appreciate it. Please go to the site to get an idea of what this site is alla bout. Along the top I would like to have categories such as Funny, Extreme, Animals, Crazy, Jokes. Things of this nature. I can get hosting for the domain other than blogspot obviously. Thanks alot! ## Deliverables If you can design a logo to go with it better than mine. This would be great.

My Lifestyle Solutions (MLS) is an online social network that is currently in need of a partial or full rebuild (vendor feedback needed for decision on this). The website was built on ASP and SQL Server, so providers will have to be well versed with this platform. MLS has the features you would generally expect from a social networking site: - Membership - Friend Lists - Messaging - Photo Albums * - Public forum for issues & solutions (think of Yahoo Questions and answers) - Polls - User submitted jokes and quotes (goes through approval process) - Editors blog* - Site search - Complete administrative functionality to manage all site functions …etc.. In addition MLS has a few more features which are of worthy mention Point system – this sys...

Rapidly expanding website selling pranks and practical jokes has just launched a new affiliate scheme. Great opportunities to make money. We pay you 10% of all sales generated by you plus 5% of all sales generated from affiliates referred by you. Please PM me for more details.

A mobile software for all the latest smartphones, the software will be similar to an online news and entertainment supply for end users, daily updation for the software needed, advertisements are part of revenue generation for the software. the software will have different tabs, like news, entertainment, jokes, horoscope, offers and promotions. when selecting each tab, an advertisement has to be shown for a specified period. detailed info provided upon request.

We have a website selling a range of pranks and practical jokes. We need an experienced team/individual to market several of these products. Initially we will give you 1 product to market and further items will follow if results are good. Bidders should be experienced in writing and submitting original articles in English that will generate quality traffic to our website. When submitting bid please tell us what high quality methods you would use to promote our products. We will only pay for high quality work and require winning bidder to send us links to the submitted articles/links/directory submissions etc.

Hi all, I need 500 funny quotes/jokes etc by end of Friday. The quotes/jokes have to be less than 130 characters and they should be funny!!! :) best sonny

Hello, I've a big website which I need to add a unique social network on it. I need unique features on this social network and I've seen and tested most ready scripts so please no bids for them or even editing them. Some Normal features of this site should be: 1- Advanced search for members and invitation system. (mail invitation - instant messengers like MSN - ICQ - Skype invitations). 2- Customized profile fields and home page organizer for each member (may use some Ajax for this) and last member x activities. 3- Private message system (with logs for admin and filter option). 4- Membership ranks based on member popularity. 5- Instant Messenger 1-1 Chat add/block other members (I like 123flashchat maybe we can use it). 6- Ajax Mood for members. ...

I've got an iphone app that crashes when I attempt to open it. I think it's an array out of bounds somewhere. It's supposed to show a random item from a table in my database. It's a simple app that is basically a "random funny joke" application, with a bunch of jokes in a database. Please clearly explain why the app is crashing, and which lines in the Objective-C code you changed to fix it. I've attached the crash report. ## Deliverables 1) Complete and fully-functional working program(s) in executable form as well as complete source code of all work done. 2) Deliverables must be in ready-to-run condition, as follows? (depending on the nature? of the deliverables): a)? For web sites or? other server-side deliverables intended to only ever ...

This project is to gather 10000 (ten thousand!) dirty/adult jokes (R rated and X rated jokes). You can get more than 10000 if you wish, but I need at least that many. ---------------------------- You will probably need to crawl some websites, although if you have these on a CD, or if you have direct access to an existing database, that is better. The data should be categorized into appropriate categories. I'm hoping for a minimum of 20 categories, but you can have as many as you need to correctly categorize the data. Please put your results in an SQLite database that has the format I've attached. This database structure was original used for a "10,000 Clean Jokes" application. For this project, just use the table structures and fields that I've...

...format I've attached. This database structure was original used for a "10,000 Jokes" application. For this project, just use the table structures and fields that I've provided. I might rename the fields later, but for now just use the structure I've provided. I've included 1 sample category and 3 sample data entries (these are "dummy" entries of course). In the attached database, the "joke" field should contain the title of the drink, and the "punchline" field should the drink recipe and ingredients, and additional information about the drink that might be useful to the user. In the "categories" table, the "jokesCount" field should contain the count of the number of items in the category. The "ca...

This project is to fix 2 PNG files. They say "10,000 Jokes" but they should say "10,000 Pickup Lines" I've attached the PNG designs. I do not have the PSD files, unfortunately. I need this within 24 hours of bid acceptance. ## Deliverables 1) Complete and fully-functional working program(s) in executable form as well as complete source code of all work done. 2) Deliverables must be in ready-to-run condition, as follows? (depending on the nature? of the deliverables): a)? For web sites or? other server-side deliverables intended to only ever exist in one place in the Buyer's environment--Deliverables must be installed by the Seller in ready-to-run condition in the Buyer's environment. b) For all others including desktop software or softwa...

CREATE BIG WEBSITE I want to create a real big website. This website gonna be a community site. This is the features required (sorry for my bad english, i'm french) : - Every visitors can see all the stock in the website - The website have a member area (needed to add stock). This member area need "email, username, pass, last name, first name) - The member can add stuff like : - PowerPoint files (.pps) - Vidéos (.avi, .mpg, .mpeg, .mov, .flv, etc...) - pictures (.jpg, .gif, etc...) - Flash games (.swf and other if this exist) - Wallpapers (many size like 1600x1200, 1024x768, 1480x1050, and many more). - Jokes - Fonts (.ttf and others) - Smileys - Avatars - Music (.mp3) - Link (http://...) ...

Want to have created a plug -in for virtual dj 6 ( VC++ i think) that will allow to display different RSS feeds on screen graphicly. So it can randomly at interval songs pick a different feed (News, Trivia, Jokes, etc.)

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The attached ZIP file contains audio excerpts from an episode of the Howard Stern radio show. The staff is playing a trivia...all of the trivia questions and answers, as demonstrated in the enclosed text file. You can type the Q&As into a plain text file or an MS Word document. Whenever a contestant gives a wrong answer, we don't want the wrong answer to be included in your document. Please type only the correct answer (which you'll hear from the host after a contestant's wrong answer). No other comments or jokes from the show should be included-- we only want the quiz questions and answers. Please see the enclosed file "Trivia Questions " for an example of how to get the project started. Thanks for your help! ## Deliverabl...

Description Looking for bloggers who can write fluent English about football (soccer) Posts: 100-200 words. Topic: UK and European soccer opinions, humour, videos, jokes, quotes etc. Not news or match reports. Examples of the kind of content we want can be found on the likes of or or caughtoffside.com. Each Article must be unique, 100% copyscape passed. No payment if fails copyscape. UK Audience Payment via Paypal. We have full rights to articles once you've submitted them. Post direct to Wordpress blog. Please submit bids per 20 posts.

...and/or research for online language learning resources: Websites, tutorials, etc. 5. Design a structured curriculum to take the student from initial language acquisition to fluency within six months. 6. Create and transmit daily lesson plans; including, regular progress assessments, quizzes and examinations (tests). 7. Provide motivation through games, activities, songs, poems, proverbs, movies, jokes, sayings, stories, etc. 8. Be able to teach essential vocabulary, grammar, sentence structure and illuminate the spirit of the language. The Punjabi teacher chosen for this job will be paid weekly, one third of the amount listed in the bid request, for a period of three weeks. If I am satisfied with the quality and results of the previous three weeks the job will be extended for ano...

I want to setup a very simple website that allows people to view and add jokes.? The jokes are simple, short messages that can be viewed onscreen, emailed and (optionally) SMS'd to people if they pay. I want to do this using an existing open source CMS system such as Joomla, Drupal, WordPress or something similar.? I already have a hosted accout which will allow this to be setup. Your job will simply be configuring the thing. ## Deliverables Functional requirements: - Add a joke - View a joke - Search jokes - Submit jokes - Email joke - SMS joke (this is not critical and I can supply details of the service) - Register You can use any of the following CMS's which my host control panel can pre-install: ...

...Mark VIP 7. Under the Master Section, Home Page Blocks, create the following blocks: Create a separate block on the right hand section where we can add banners and another for text links. Banners should appear on all pages that are clicked, so they should appear when the user is doing a search, or when the user is looking at a profile, etc. In the middle section, add a section that commentaries, jokes etc can be added. In addition, create a blog that will appear in the middle called: What the heck…. This is a section where users can upload pictures for the rest of the users to see. These pictures before they appear on the web site, need to be approved by the administrators just like the rest of the pictures need to be approved in the HOME section of the admin log in. Th...

...below that The first website is a place where users can create and post their one-liner jokes under a tab entitled "Rate my Joke", like those that might be featured in one of the super-comedy movies that have been coming out over the past two years and into this summer. Other users can rate them and simply look around the site for some humor when bored. Also a tab for people to post their ideas for "Invention Ideas", where users can similarly rate them, and a tab for "Politics Talk" - similar to FML layout, - first tab across the top that comes up automatically is "Jokes" - second tab available to click on is "Inventions" - third tab "Politics" it's a general "ideas" sharing ...

...Mark VIP 7. Under the Master Section, Home Page Blocks, create the following blocks: Create a separate block on the right hand section where we can add banners and another for text links. Banners should appear on all pages that are clicked, so they should appear when the user is doing a search, or when the user is looking at a profile, etc. In the middle section, add a section that commentaries, jokes etc can be added. In addition, create a blog that will appear in the middle called: What the heck…. This is a section where users can upload pictures for the rest of the users to see. These pictures before they appear on the web site, need to be approved by the administrators just like the rest of the pictures need to be approved in the HOME section of the admin log in. Th...

I need a large collection of SMS Jokes, Quotes and Poetry in Urdu, English and Punjabi. If anyone already has a good collection, that would be great but coders may also collect them from the Internet. I need all kind of jokes, quotes and poetry but distributed in relavent categories and sub-cetegories. The data can be in any form that can easily be imported into a MySQL database however already in MySQL will be highly appreciated. We can pay $50-$60 for 5000 jokes, quotes and peotry. Each SMS should be of the length not more than 130 characters. Sincerely, Cyber Kings ## Deliverables 1) Complete and fully-functional working program(s) in executable form as well as complete source code of all work done. 2) Deliverables must be in ready-to-...

I need soneone to write articles for me on a wide range of topics of human life and day to day activities. Someone who can make non interesting stories very interesting, Someone who is a born storyteller, who can write stories, jokes and make it iteresting. This short jokes and stories could sometimes be less than 400 words Requirement: Must have good command of english If your the sample is aproved by me and the price is right, it could result in a long time relationship.

I need a deisgn template for funny sms jokes site with a funny character of a young boy and all funky outlook. The template should contain original work, not a copy of any existing site or template.

...connected to a mySQL database and offer an admin panel to control users and jokes. A joke should be able to be submitted as a text joke, picture (with caption) or multiple pictures with caption, or video (link to youtube for instance) with caption. Each joke should have a template based on the type of joke (text, picture, video). These templates should be able to be edited and changed. There should also be places in the joke template for Adsense, Google Analytics tracking, banners, etc. There should also be a rating section for each posted joke, video, or picture and a "tell-a-friend" form to allow the joke to be spread virally. The database should allow for a user to sign up and submit jokes. These jokes should be approved by the administrator b...

...click the “submit?? button. The objective here is to demonstrate using a session variable to track data.** ** ** NOTE: The website link is * **a) Once you have downloaded and installed IEWatch Professional, practice by capturing the http activities between your browser and the login sequence to CalPoly BroncoDirect website. Observe how many cookies are created in the browser from BroncoDirect web server. You need to submit screenshots of each cookie activity using PrintKey 2000.** * **b) Monitor the http activities between your browser and Apache web server by running the homework assignment on displaying jokes from the joke table. Be prepared to discuss what you have learned from this http sniffer tool.** * **You are to carve out the PHP

... 7. Under the Master Section, Home Page Blocks, create the following blocks: Create a separate block on the right hand section where we can add banners and another for text links. Banners should appear on all pages that are clicked, so they should appear when the user is doing a search, or when the user is looking at a profile, etc. In the middle section, add a section that commentaries, jokes etc can be added. In addition, create a blog that will appear in the middle called: What the heck…. This is a section where users can upload pictures for the rest of the users to see. These pictures before they appear on the web site, need to be approved by the administrators just like the rest of the pictures need to be approved in the HOME section of the admin log in. T...

I have a joke database with a pretty straightforward setup. Somehow my "view joke" and "view category" (ie - blonde jokes etc.) pages stopped working correctly, and I simply need a couple basic queries to toss into my template so that the correct content appears. Possibly due to some heavy customization before, but for this project, all the side stuff (built in on-the-fly meta keywords etc) don't really matter as the most important thing is, of course, getting the page to simply show the appropriate joke or category info. As it stands right now, the template looks fine, but the space where the joke should be appearing is simply blank. Should be a breeze for any PHP and MySQL pro.

I have designed a menu in corel draw and have a need to format it to look like the old menu. I do not need to change content I just need to modify the existing menu in corel to look like the one on the picture that I will send together with the corel file. I want to continue to use this menu in corel draw. I do not need to change the menu dimensi...files are a bit poor but thats what my friend wants. So to summarize.. this job is about formating a corel file with the front and back of a menu and formating it to look like the jpegs that I will provide. You are not to use the wording on the jpeg to alter the corel file. The corel file is correct. THe layout on the jpeg is what we want to bring into corel I hope this is clear as mud.. jokes as clean water.. May the best des...

...long term relationship, based on performance. This job will be 85 on topic posts, in 8 unique threads, by 4 different? user(s). You will need to send me the user names you will use before you? begin work on this project.? The owner's topic description is: Stryders Community Forums A site for various interests and social discussion. Mostly a relaxed atmosphere where having bad jokes mixed in are sometimes considered a plus. Work should begin immediately. Please post evenly over a 5 day time frame. Don't blantently advertise my service, but rather post quailty posts that are? on topic, interesting, and posts that will prompt other users to join in. Thanks, Keith ## Deliverables Plain text, on topic, manual with no autom...

I own and run a website StupidJokes.com. I had it designed about 5 years ago and, since then, have come to dislike it. It does not look great and does not function very well. I would like to replace it with a easier to use, fun and attractive joke site. Most important, I need it to take full advantage of google ads, placed stategically to generate the maximum clicks. Right now, not many people click the ads. SEO improvements would be great, too. I need the features usually found in a joke site -- ratings, categories, and a way for visitors to easily submit jokes. A way for people to email others the jokes they like -- but it must be? secure. The earlier version had some exploit in the email that made me turn it off. Any other ideas for improving a j...

Need simple click through application for Iphone. Main Screen with Categories each category will have jokes with a next arrow and a previous arrow along with back to home. also need a pop up to display after 3 jokes with verbage and link to website. Much more lucrative work will be supplied to freelancer.

Hi, Need to fix one of my customer's site: or install a new script and migrate the existing data. On the existing site admin function not working and some error on the site. If you are planning to use a new script, then please keep in mind the following: 1) Need to have a admin interface to post projects 2) user registration to post jokes 3) template should be able to accommodate advertisements 4) search engine friendly 5) any other features that you can think of

Hi, Need to fix one of my customer's site: or install a new script and migrate the existing data. On the existing site admin function not working and some error on the site. If you are planning to use a new script, then please keep in mind the following: 1) Need to have a admin interface to post projects 2) user registration to post jokes 3) template should be able to accommodate advertisements 4) search engine friendly 5) any other features that you can think of

I want to create an iphone application for jokes. I'm not looking for anything too detailed or fancy. I need the ability to make changes on a daily basis. I really don't know how big of a project this is and need someone to be exact and straight forward with me on how long this will take and how often I will need updates. I need for this to be fun for the user and easy for me to maintain. I'm going to have a lot of questions so only bid if you are ok with that.

We need internet research to gather additional content for our website for the following categories. We need someone to: 1. research the following categories: cars, trucks, motorcycles [Cars (sports cars, classic cars, muscle cars); Trucks (heavy duty, 4x4, classic trucks, etc.); Motorcycles (Harley Davidson's, Custom Choppers, etc.)] • obtain 4-6 photos for each item • obtain the specifications for each in Word format • obtain a brief video of the car, truck, motorcycle (1-3 minutes) in FLV format • email us the photos, FLV video, and specs in Word format or within the email. 2. We also need brief stories created / paraphrased from a military web site for U.S. soldiers killed in action in Iraq and Afghanistan. We need you to: • pro...

First requirement is for 4 different page designs, and 4 different versons of css to change the way the pages appearing some fashion. That would evolve into 16 different looking page designs when each version of css is applied to each of the 4 layouts. The layouts will be a variation on an exiting (authors) webpage that I can provide, which contains ...Second requirement is background images that relates to the topic of the page in some way. This will require some creative thinking to find a suitable image. The 16 topics are: personality, confidence, emotional intelligence, character, wisdom, relationships, making decisions, conversation skills, making speeches, interviewing skills, diplomacy skills, negotiation skills, thinking skills, telling jokes/humour, reading in public and se...

I need a developer to handle this project to develop it him self, or with other programmers and take the responsibility of coordinating with other programmers to do the project and deli...job with no reference don't bather please. Database to handle rents invoices system use SMS Database send SMS first up to third reminder messages before rents due payments is made, and thank you message after payment is made. Tweeter System Reminder System Chet Chat system identifies the IP address location annum's Chet chat service subscription. List of occasional messages such as Jokes and greeting holidays. SMS group system Lottery system use SMS messages. Questions and answers test use SMS messages. Interest list for marketing. Ability to buy SMS credit Support...

I will buy 50 different content databases. I don't care of the database's topic too much, however I do have restrictions (see below). Example of databases that I am interested in: -writers biographies -jokes -recipes etc Not interested in the following databases: -any adult -online shops Each database must be at least 50k (50 000)items/articles/pages. Deliverables: Databases in either text, csv, or mysql formats.

I want an exact clone in t...blog /worst blog sections and a random one too - Moderate section where the visitor can accept or not joke in order to help the filter ADMIN: I'd like an administration platform to allow the admin publish or not the new propositions of blog the visitor would have sent. I need to be able to edit the blogs before post it on the web. I also want that the platform propose me a selection of the jokes which would have been filtered by X number of visitors. The number of visitor that need to filter a proposition would have to be eligible on the platform. The admin platform will allow to change easily the design of the webpage. This webpage is almost a forum that's why I'll expect to see a working demo. If you need more informatio...

...blog /worst blog sections and a random one too - Moderate section where the visitor can accept or not joke in order to help the filter ADMIN: I'd like an administration platform to allow the admin publish or not the new propositions of blog the visitor would have sent. I need to be able to edit the blogs before post it on the web. I also want that the platform propose me a selection of the jokes which would have been filtered by X number of visitors. The number of visitor that need to filter a proposition would have to be eligible on the platform. The admin platform will allow to change easily the design of the webpage. This webpage is almost a forum that's why I'll expect to see a working demo. If you need more information, don't hesitate to ...

...You will know what I mean after reading one of the attached ebooks - it's written around one main theme - old grandpa from poor eastern European country growing huge organic tomatoes to feed his family. This is the kind of story I am after, because it proves that the described techniques are valuable and work in real life and make the entire text less formal and easy to read. So all sort of funny jokes and stories included in every chapter would be greatly appreciated. You will also have to do some research on your own because not all of the paragraphs are covered in the materials I am going to send to you. That's it :) I think it's an extremely easy job, especially for someone who already knows a bit about gardening. It will get even easier after you go thro...

Our project is a simple jokes flash script (xml powered or mysql powered) user can choose from a variety of joke categories, display jokes and click ? to get answer. (must have admin section to add, delete, jokes and categories) example: please show samples of your work... pk

An? original? comedy script for a radio show is required.? The? show is focused on current events and topical humor. We require a skilled comedy writer to write 10 minutes of topical jokes and or monologues. ## Deliverables 1. Provide final? deliverables? in script format (Word or RTF) 2. Jokes must be? original? (i.e your own) 3. The script when read aloud must be around 10 minutes long. 4. Jokes should be topical (i.e? relevant? to 2009) 5. Lists of "one-liners" will NOT be accepted? 6. Jokes must not? rely? on? visual? props as all? martial? will be? performed? in? audio? only 7. Please ask if you have any question 8. Please ask if you think a joke is? inappropriate? 9. We will be selecting several writers who will all g...

No jokes....no spams.....**I want only good, serious writers**. I don't want anybody who doesn't take writing seriously and are not serious writers, absolutely ones who don't respect deadlines. In this field respect for deadline is a must, since I try to keep it at most times, except in certain unforseen circumstances. Must know to write articles based on keywords.

This book is going to be based on cartoon caricature 100 of them with some narratives to describe the concepts needs to be Asian based jokes and original in information will be given to bid WORK REQUIRED. P.S My budget is 80-100$. Lowest bid will be given more consideration.

This website it's about jokes for spanish speakers, you can find a joke for every day or you can search for a joke or you can browse the joke catalog or even you can suscribe a joke in your email. I need something funny, a web template that make me smile =), this website is already online you can visit at (in english "funny or not") If you visit this website, you would see that you can use all the options and services, but all the elements are plain text with some style, i want to improve this webdesign for something better, usign Images, Icons, Colors, Logos.