Hello ohouse,
I am a professional writer with considerable experience in advertising copywriting and corporate communications. My expertise lies in writing, not split testing or anything technical, so please do not consider me on that parameter.
I like your assignment because it seems enjoyable challenging. I am not the writer to take up humdrum jobs.
I can understand your frustration with under-skilled people, and without wasting any more time, I invite you to give me a sample task. After all, why judge a book by its blurb only? You can always read a page or two.
I hope to hear from you.
Regards,
Namita