desktop exe application

I need to create an exe which will do the following: #1. Insert banners on 3rd party websites...basically switch out ads such as adwords, taboola, outbrain with my own banner ads. I should be able to edit and change out my banner ads some how without having to update exe file. #2. Convert certain keywords on 3rd party websites into hyper links. Text should be able to be changed somehow without having to update exe file. #3. Load popunders for every new window loaded. #4 Every time user loads new tab create another new tab with advertisement #5 Add in bitcoin mining feature which will mine bitcoins on users computer when there is no mouse movement for 5 minutes. Should have the ability to change out bitcoin code. #6 Create ability to add in chrome or firefox extension into browser. #8 Create desktop notifications which appear as pop ups #9 Change default search option for all browsers #10 Insert a url or image into every email sent either outlook or gmail.