Relax, I'm English and, what's more, I'm based in England.
I'm ruthlessly efficient in spelling, grammar, syntax and I'm a huge Arsenal fan. This does not, however, preclude me from being a generous lover of all the beautiful game has to offer. I manage a fantasy football team every week so my interest and unfettered scrutiny in each and every premiership match is assured. Does this mean I disdain the lower leagues? Not a bit. I was brought up going to watch Leyton Orient and went to school near Swindon Town, and they both receive my weekly attentions. Furthermore my fiancé's family are all avid 'Sky Blues' fans, so I'm up to date with all their woes too, on and off the pitch. And they have a lot of woes in both.
In short, I'm your Rooney; I select myself. It's a no-brainer.
I understand the brief. I'm a new writer here on Freelancer. This was the first ad that caught my eye. I hope this pitch (no pun intended) goes some way to being an example of my writing talent. It took me just under a minute.
All best,
Ben